Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Dealing with Difficulties

I tend to dwell on difficult things. Some people might use the word obsess but I prefer "dwell" as it doesn't seem as bad or in need of professional help. Right now I am dealing with a broken friendship. Although it may be best that it remain broken, I can't help thinking of the "what ifs." And I tend to dwell on those. So, today, after a day of dwelling (bordering on obsessing) I was feeling rather "bleh." Unfortunately, my "go to" when feeling blah is food. Who am I kidding?  My "go to" for most emotions is food. So, when I got home from work I headed for the pantry and made popcorn with real butter (of course, why not go for the gusto?), sprinkled with a little salt and then to add insult to injury, a beautiful dusting of powdered sugar. After two large bowls of that. I felt worse. What's always a great combination is to add a guilty conscience to an already low emotional state. As I began to fall asleep in this food induced stupor something within me snapped and out loud I said, "No, you're NOT going to do this" and I got up and headed to the garden. I love working in my flower gardens. I love loosening and aerating the dirt. There is something so soothing about it. I went and loosened the earth, pulled the weeds, popped the dead heads off the daisies and I felt so much better. As we haven't had much rain this summer, I then watered the plants and it just felt like everything was coming back into alignment and I felt more at peace than I have in the last several days. As Martha Stewart would say, "it was a good thing." So hopefully, in the future, I'll be able to skip that first step of damaging behavior and move right into one that actually works!

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