When I'm quiet, assume something is wrong. That should be my motto. I haven't written in a while. And this is mainly because I'm struggling. Struggling to "find the time" (do you like that excuse?) to run. Struggling to eat right as all of a sudden pizza sounds good for all 3 meals 7 days a week. Struggling as I make a renewed commitment each day to eat right and by the end of the day it's changed to a "last hurrah...because tomorrow I will start over." Haven't I mentioned before that I'm tired of starting over? If I haven't, let me say it aloud. I'm tired of "starting over." I'm tired of realizing that after joining the online version of weight watchers 6 weeks ago I'm at my starting weight.....still..... I'm tired of seeing the days and weeks tick down faster and faster and me doing the mental math of "Ok, I have _____ days until I officially start training for the marathon...I need to get crackalackin'!" and having the number in the blank get smaller and smaller and less and less likely of me achieving my goal (My goal was to have lost most of the weight and be on a healthy eating regimen before starting to do the long group runs so that I wouldn't put too much stress on my joints while running).
So here I am. After last night's "last hurrah" of pizza, after a weekend of eating out while visiting Nate's family, I'm back to "starting over" on this Monday, February 20, 2012.
Nate gave me this necklace for Valentine's Day.
I plan to wear it daily and the verse, Hebrews 12:1, has become my "marathon verse." "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."
Please pray for me. This is a spiritual journey for me as well as a physical one. I need your help. I need your support.